missing something and about my uncle in law

I miss singing and performing. Everytime I see pictures or videos in multiply or in youtube and when I read any article about performances, it makes me envious because nga I miss singing and performing.Wait a minute I shouldn't be feeling that way. I understand naman why I can't perform regular na because of my condition that I'm still in my recovery period. I just got out last April 20, 2008 from my last admission. But I'm strong enough to perform now. My blood count is normal. And I believe In Jesus Name that I'm 1000% healed and I believe In God's time I'll be back performing soon. I wonder what God is planning in my life now?
I also miss my Uncle In Law, his name is Gerald Denoga, who just left and went back Home to God last Saturday Night August 9, 2008. He's still young, he's 33 with a wife and 3 kids. We have the same case. We're batchmates... meaning... We have the same doctor and we always have the schedule in Chemo... Actually, I never met him. I just spoke to him twice on the phone while we're in the hospital. We can't see each other because we might get infected... Leukemia patients are very delicate. We easily get infected. We always talk about good stuff and experiences during treatment, My death experience and what we missed outside, also about his wife and kids, Our Family, our career etc... I always tell him... whenever you feel pain.. think of Alcohol, hehe (joke). I encouraged him to think of Jesus. That every treatment and pain that the chemo and blood that is entering our body will be the Blood of Christ. I said everything will be fine as long you resurrender every to Him.. He just kept quiet and listened. I just hope He got saved after everything I shared to him. After that he changed the topic na. When we got home, We kept on texting to say kumusta and exchanging of blood count results. He wondered why his blood count is not incresing that much compared to mine. That worried me and prayed for him everyday that his blood count will be normal. I told him on text na dapat mag normal na yan.... para on our remission magvi-victory party tayo. Sabay dapat tayo mag party. He promised me that. Last Friday morning August 8, 2008 I learned from my mom that Uncle Gie had a relapse last July.. He's been admitted for more than a month. That shocked me. God made me realized na He gave so much favor. He blessed me and gave me a 2nd chance to live.
I remember the last text I sent more than a month ago before he relapsed. I said "*Hugz*", He said "what is that for?" I replied "Just being a sweet niece". He laughed and hugged me too on Text. hehe. After that I didn't text him na baka nanguangulit na siya sa akin. But my heart kept on telling me to text him, to share God's Word and to pray for him.
Last Friday Morning August 08, 2008, I learned from mom that Uncle Gie had a relapse last July. He's been admitted more than a month. It worried me alot for him. And I prayed to God that he'll get well soon. I've wanted to visit him but my mom stopped me because I might get infected. Because the 7th floor of Makati Medical Center is the Infectious area. My friend resident doctor texted me that Uncle Gie is her patient. He was really in bad shape.. his gums were soaring. bleeding, blood count were down etc..... He couldn't find a bone marrow match. Last June, I texted him that our Doctor found 106 possible donors for my bone marrow transplant. He told me that he still has no donors yet even sa states.... He needs the match badly. He told me that I'm so blessed to have those 106 donors. Mag transplant na daw ako. But God and my heart is telling me that I won't be needing the transplant na. Not Even his siblings hindi din sila magka-match. 'til his death wala pa rin siyang mahanap na ka match.
I had my blood test last saturday night August 9, 2008,( Praise God that that my blood count is Normal). That time My heart is been telling me to visit him... but mom couldn't let me go to the 7th floor.
August 11, 2008 Monday morning... I tried to call The Onco area of MMC. I asked about Uncle Gie... Nurses told me that he's expired na meaning He passed away na last August 9 Saturday night the time I was in MMC. I feel so guilty that I didn't see him. But I'm happy na din na wala na yung sufferings niya.
He's back home with God. And I know that he's happy now In God's Arms. We will see each other In God's Time.